Memoirs in the land of women
By Jules Fred C. Batisla-ong
From the dawn of time, one reason man was driven out of paradise because of a woman(well that’s what my teachers taught me about the history of the first man).But then I was skeptical about it and disagree. But then as I grew older, I find history an interesting matter. And I came up with a question, Why is it in every story I’ve read or heard, In every man’s failure there is always a woman involve? But still didn’t convince me. I taught maybe these guys are just so stupid to pick the right women. Well like any philosopher said (if there’s such thing), experience is always the best teacher. You can’t prove it unless it happened to you, right?
I have this question that resided in my head for too long now. Is this saying true? “In every success of a man is a woman”. Maybe for a short time huh? Well have you ever experienced that when you were a little boy you have this crush and every time you sit beside her she cries to death? And every one that sees that fancied you as the gremlin? Charming isn’t it? And while in your high school days you can’t get near to a beautiful girl because they are looking at these jocks and star players of a basketball squad? Pretty much a loser isn’t it? Well some might say just not your day.
I was a fan of history as I mentioned earlier. And every hero I read about has their own share of a bitter end to there so-called conquest or whatever they are working on. And that failure involves a beautiful woman. Well I sort of noticed that but neglected it. Well as a refresher, remember Samson? Napoleon? Even James Bond has its share right? Then I asked myself, why is it a man can’t live without a woman? Where the best they could’ve given you are disaster and pain? Well mates I’m hoping you haven’t encounter that yet. If you did you might agree to a saying “Misery loves company”..
Back in the time when I was 24 I met this not so common type of girl. Where at a point we almost shared everything we had in common. Intuitions, music, fashion, anything. Everything except her heart. And it was a fool of me to fell for her. And her to fell for me (We are both committed that’s why).But she changed my life. Made me mature and I felt that everything I watched at the movies could really be true. You happened to watch serendipity right? Well I thought it could happen to me (I’m 1 ½ fool thinking that). Well there was this moment that my past relationship went cold and her’s was collapsing(I hope she agrees with me). And sad to say, the only thing we’ve got was both of us. And then I thought its about time to have a perfect one. Well it was fun then. We even had this pact that we are ready to build a friendship that will last more than ten years from that time(Rule no.1 No one leaves behind, deal is a deal). But after a few years being together it turned out to be a nightmare. Everything nice went bad and then she went back to that jock and left me hanging. A lot reason to consider like I can’t let anybody see us together and you’re not the type of a person I can be proud of. Well just like in the movies too huh? And it really hits me big time that made me smoke 3 packs at one time. Well then after that, there’s nothing more I could do but go back to my old self. Like, walk the valley alone, drink 7 and 7, and play my guitar(Oh and by the way, thanks for bringing it back). And I thought to myself, well this has to end. This won’t happen again(Rule no.3 Never make a promise you can’t keep).
Less than a month after that escapade of mine to the realm of broken hearts. I met a lovely, smart and talented girl. I was 27 then. She was a little younger than I am. My heart was as cold as ice. I’m contained of music, alcohol, work and football. And sort of forgotten that the world has women in it. Well, some of my friends are women as we speak. Well before her many of my women friends looked up to as their big brother. Translation, some guy you could cry on, ask for some advise you won’t do, some body who could treat you for a dinner or ice cream maybe. Well unthinkable could happen really while you’re not thinking. Well as I my former departs, I sort of get to know her a little more. And surprisingly, our work happened to be connected. At that time, we haven’t met yet actually. And I happened to be so intrigued about her because our work is connected but we aren’t. So one time, I ask a friend of mine. Who is she? As a normal person he answered. Well first about her physical appearance and how he knew her. And my mate told me what if I met her personally? My answer was no this isn’t happening. I have my rules and it’s strictly against women. Until one time I gave her a buzz. That changed everything. We had a coffee session at this one famous coffee hub. And from there the so called connection got a start. We were habing communications more often. She is so eager to meet me and so am I. Everything was going well. I began to trust her (rule no.2 trust no one). And then so is she. What happened next was… again, things that you could see in the movies. We started by telling more about ourselves, more of a common “get to know”things. It was more of a what worse experiences happened in the past. Days passed, I felt that something is happening. Something is awkward as we continue to have somethings in common. Well, I guess I’m beginning to like her. That sounds familiar. From that moment I was more than willing to know her. And it happened she was so open to me and so am I. No secrets were hidden between the two of us. At that point I felt like I’m an angel. Well with scabbed wings I guess. And it made me realize that from that day on no one can hurt you as long as I am with you.I need to be with her and protect her.And as days went on, friendship had gone deeper. Until I formally ask her out. This means out for a vacation. To be free from anything that makes us both miserable.She agreed to come with. Well for the first time after 2 years I could say that, that was the happiest day of my life. I was the happiest man ever lived from that moment. At that moment on our way home, I asked her this: “Can you be my girl”? At first I thought of it as a slip of the tongue thing. And I rephrased it. I asked her again inside a fast moving vehicle. After I heard the word “yes”, I really couldn’t explain what I felt. I was overwhelmed with feelings I guess. Man! I was the happiest man on the planet. And for the first time, I experienced gazing at Orion’s belt with her (lucky it wasn’t Cassiopeia). Staring at a full moon while holding her hands. Listening to her poem about it. Sitting at a football pitch looking at the blue skies. Holding her close to your heart. Staring at her while she falls asleep. It’s indescribable. And perfect I might add.
What made this relationship too far from the others is that, I was able to prove that friendship and love can work both ways. Well because love can ruin friendship, some might say. And for the first time, we practiced no demands and no expectations like what unconditional love truly is. Just letting it breathe. Which I believe is a good thing though. 3 months passed and everything was fine, so I can say this might be the perfect one. Well I could say that because maybe, I’m happy. I never had a problem on conflicts of interests at work while we are, you know what we are. Because I guess it’s too natural. And aside from the fact that we are friends too right? So we kept it low and far from the obvious. Well aside from it is required in our work. It was fun. And at that moment I don’t know where my rules are, honestly. I can’t forget the time when she calls me Mr. Discipline out of that rules. It was like having a dream man.
In a relationship, not everything can be hidden. So my own experience with that was having the idea of “Meeting the Parents” thing. Well I want an honest relationship for the record. And I don’t want to be like what happened to me in the past. Just some skeletons kept inside their antique closest. So I did, I went to her house to get acquainted. With so much confidence I forgot the fact that some people got their own standards. So the result wasn’t good for me. I tried to be modest but they weren’t convinced by that. It turned out pretty bad as I recall. And it reached to a point that I’m restricted at any vicinity near their place. The relationship was almost perfect. I can even imagine myself more proud than David Beckham holding Posh’s hand anywhere I go. The relationship was more than any cheap thrills. And for me it was an adventure. Sometimes I felt like I’m Indiana Jones runs after a precious stone in the middle of a forest. It was fun. Well every other day is different. Different but complete. It’s like making both our dreams came to reality. We worked hand in hand at anything. Like Cloak and Dagger. But I guess there’s always a means to an end.
I believe in every relationship there’s a point that you are put to a test. And sometimes the end result could be worse than you could imagine. Losing one and lose your mind afterwards. And no matter what sacrifices you’ve make. It can’t be fixed. That’s where misery kicks in and kills you very softly and slowly. Well I have my own share of that. And I laid all my cards down, everything. I never believe in unconditional love. But it happened right in front of me. I never complained on anything, that’s one thing I’m not proud of doing. My patience is too far from breaking off. As long as I am doing it just for her sake I’ll do it. But unthinkable really could happen. I’m having this strange feeling that she was slipping away. And things we like doing began to have its limits. No more affection, no more holding hands, no more hugs and one thing I missed the most, the kisses. Well I guess that’s the time for me to sing one favorite song of mine, “You don’t love me anymore “right? I sort of denied the fact that I’m losing her. But then I’ve no control of it anymore and I can’t demand nor complain. That’s a promise (Rule no.3 never make a promise you cannot keep). I guess that makes unconditional love pretty hard huh? Whatever happens, don’t complain. Well as days, months gone by I’m slowly breaking down and starting to realize that fact that her heart’s gone cold for me. Well just so you know, she’s back with her former. Classy isn’t it? And as for me, well busy walking around. Whistling “I don’t wanna know “.
See? Women!
Don’t mind if I ask. When can you be more contented with what’s in front of you and avoid looking back on the last chapter? Of your life I presume. It’s pretty much of a redundant thing. Sometimes I realized they are not after you. Well it’s more of what you can provide. And when you’re all drained up, you’re nothing. I guess it’s a hell of an experience. A chapter I suppose. Right now, I changed my whole damned disposition. Have fun and back with the rules and die with it! But looking another round with who comes next? I doubt it. I had my share. Well it’s not good. I had enough. I’m getting older and I don’t have much time to tour around the world. I learned my lesson and I don’t want my heart get fixed and broke afterwards anymore. Like I said it’s redundant.
